An educational brouhaha has surfaced regarding the latest PISA (Program for International Assessment) testing because Shanghai’s in first place. Blarney Dunderhead (Arnie Duncan) and Co. are running around like Pearl Harbor is being bombed again.
     

     Okay, here’s the facts –

     Shanghai is a CITY! All the other scores are averaged downward by the fact that they are entire COUNTRY scores. One city, Shanghai, in China let 5,100 of their educationally predisposed über-kids take a test. Mind you, this is Shanghai. For those of you not in the know, Shanghai is the Chinese equivalent of Manhattan; financially, educationally, logistically, and competitively. So, 5,100 Chinese-Manhattan-like kids scored numero uno on the test. Umm…like duuuh.
     Shanghai is the center of the universe in China. If you are Chinese and you have any get-up-and-go, Shanghai is where you scurry off to ASAP. It is the happening place. And in case you haven’t noticed there are 2.6 billion feet in China. (Minus a few for industrial accidents etc.) 40 million feet traipse about in Shanghai. Among that 5,100 group of little Spartan-like testees, you can be certain there were NO Special Ed kids, No kids with ADD or ADHD, nor any wayward Dai Lama-inclined-Tibetans. These were all top of the food chain munchkins.
     Little history lesson. It was the Chinese who developed massive, country-wide Imperial testing in the Sui Dynasty in AD 605. So they know how to study. Chinese kids study all day and many days. My wife is Asian. She went to school from 7:00 A.M. until 10:00 P.M. Monday through Friday and then went back for more on Saturday. Because of this she did not learn how to: ride a bike, drive a car, or swim. (Please remember that.)
     Next, regarding education. Historically there were three ways to advance in China – business, military, and education. Guess which avenue was and is most favored? Yup, the edumacation’ route. As one who has taught in Asia. I can tell you these folks tend to be cwazy (yes CWAZY) about education.
Also, the final kicker is this. In order to be literate in Chinese one HAS to totally immerse oneself in learning. There are in excess of four thousand characters to memorize. It isn’t: a,e,i,o,u and sometimes y; long vowel, short vowel time. Literacy in China is a life-long venture. One must study - end of story. Point being - the Chinese are motivated. And many of these motivated types congregate in Shanghai.
     Arnie Duncan showed his mug on TV (with the appropriately vetted mutes seated behind him) and squawked about the Shanghai Syndrome and the yellow peril. “The sky is falling. The sky I falling.” He did say one intelligent thing though, but he didn’t understand it. “Scores in America have not changed in 10 years. It’s not that American scores have gone down, but rather that other country’s scores have come up.”
     Mr. Duncan do you know why? Because President Bush implemented No Child’s Behind is Left then. And it destroyed us. Now President Obama has stuck his fingers in the eyes of educators as well with his Race To Flop.
     By the way, the number two contender for PISA scores is Finland. Finland is a little country, but there is more equity in their society. The poverty rate in Finland is under 5%. The poverty rate in USA is 20% and growing. Hmmmmmm, that might be a variable. Oh yeah, and the Fins pay their teachers really, really well. But Blarney Dunderhead and Co. want to build boutique charter schools for profit.
     As for those hordes of numero-uno, high-scoring Shanghai-Chinese kids coming down the pike. We have a chance if they are at all like my wife – give them a bike and make them drive it across a lake that’s a little thin ice on the ice. Remember… they can’t swim.