I would like to submit for men, irrefutable evidence that women are HUNTERS! I’m talking about F. P.G.S. (Female Public Grooming Syndrome). To my amazement many a day I see women with their countenance pressed to the mirror AS THEY DRIVE. Clutched like weapons they hold a variety of …wares. Wares they apply, press, smear, rub and daub to their pretty visages. Once I thought a woman was doing ACTUAL harm to her delicate mug. In her right hand she held a thing,shoved right up to her eye. I thought it was a nut cracker or paper puncher. So, later I asked my wife. She looked at me like I was a senseless moron. Oh, that was an eyelash curler. AND my wife didn’t even see the thing. She told me this with the certainty of a specialist confirming well-known data to a non-specialist. There was no pause. SHE JUST KNEW!
    I remember that my grandfather put me on to this whole thing as a kid.. I asked him. “Pop, what’s that lady in the car doing?”
    “Kreig paint.”
    “Kreig?” I asked him.
    Yah, kreig, you know ‘var. Var paint like der Indians makt before battle.
    Bingo! that was it. WAR PAINT! My Pop was pretty perceptive,” Poul, if a woman ‘vill lie about her face she ‘vill lie about anything. It is a kind of var!”. Years later I figured out the rest of it. It’s camouflage too. See guys, it ‘s all about hunting and we are the prey. It’s just my firm hope they catch us and don’t CRASH into us.
    Next time I’d like to talk about why women can’t drive.